Episode 27 – Fun with Tongue Guns.

Traffic sucks. Nobody likes it. Why, then, do some of us react so caustically toward other drivers who are stuck in the same thing? We’re all stuck here. Yet, somehow, all it takes is one jerk and the whole thing gets up in a tizzy. The one thing I can’t stand above all is someone riding my ass. Especially when I typically drive about 5 mph above the speed limit. Where do you have to be that you can afford to be riding so close to me when I’m ALREADY SPEEDING IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?!

I have a solution for that, though. I will start by saying that I don’t do anything if I have my wife or kids in the car. I just keep driving. Messing with an asshole is never worth the safety of your family. If you’re alone, however, and you’re tired of getting rode up on as well, give this a shot.

When I see someone is so close to my ass that I can’t see their headlights above my tailgate in my rear view mirror, I just let my foot off of the gas. Simple as that. As I start slowly decelerating, I like to watch their reaction. A lot of times they have to slam on the breaks because they’re so close that even a gentle drop in speed will send them dangerously close to rear ending you in the first place. I drop it all the way down to about 15 mph and hold it there.
From here I make a call: If they drop way back and keep their distance I speed back up.At that point it’s all good. They’ve  learned their lesson and no longer deserve my ire.
If they speed back up and resume their earlier tight spacing, I lock em up. All the way up. This usually sends the message. I’ve gotten to this step a handful of times and it’s pretty harrowing. I’ve never been rear ended, but I always think it’s gonna happen. If they were to actually hit me, that’s fine. It’ll be at about a 5 mph differential and would be pretty harmless. 
But let me tell you, if it were to happen, I would put on my flashers, pull out my phone and call the cops. I want insurance information and a police report. It would take forever. It would totally ruin that jerk’s day as well. And justly, in my opinion. Jerks that act like that in traffic fully deserve it. And besides, it makes for a good story… Now, let’s talk Turtles!

For our 27th episode we cover Eastman and Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol.1, # 20 and 21, as well as cover some of the 2nd wave of Playmates figures in Totally Tubular Turtle Toy Talk. On top of that, we talk about the untimely passing of Chi Cheng, get hyped for Record Store Day, and a germophobe’s nightmare scenario at a local gas station. Don’t forget about our caption contest that’s still running over at our Facebook page! 
NEXT WEEK: Eastman and Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vol. 1, #22 and 23. Also, more Totally Tubular Turtle Toy Talk!
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